Post Soundtrack: As ugly as I seem – The White Stripes
I like being proved wrong.
Now, this of course does not mean in all areas in life. But I actually like being proved wrong when it comes to people in this world who I might have had a preconceived judgement based on encounters and behaviors that have left me thinking. .
‘This person is a fucking idiot.”
After many years in therapy, and myself having explored the fucking dark areas as well as the good. I really like to believe I can read people quite easily. The times I have been proven wrong, were mostly because a personal emotion stood in the way of judging a person. I get happy when people turn out to actually be genuine and kind, which just shows there in fact hope for mankind.
That being said. My God are there many fucking idiots in this world.
Everyone has bad sides, EVERY FUCKING ONE. We judge, we all judge. This is mostly based on like previously mentioned experiences.
I have a real bad side, and if someone happens to catch me and their first encounter with me at that moment in time. Yeah, they will think I’m the biggest c#nt there is. Cause I can be real c#unty at times, but I can also be the best friend you ever had.
I have this general rule that I will give people a chance to redeem themselves. I have such respect for people who can acknowledge their behavior and apologize.
Recently I was working on a project. This one person just managed to be a dick, and I’m talking big erected hard dickhead. Yet the person knew he was temperamental and kept coming up to me and my team apologizing. I respect that, it shows humility and self awareness. It doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it clearly shows a person being aware they are causing other people grief of sorts and owning up to it. I applaud this. I try my best myself to apologize when I’m being a c#unty bunch, cause I am so aware that I am being like that. And I hope to better myself.
Then there are those who just remain fucking idiots.
I have long had a problem with a certain person. I know this is my problem, but I was just really uncomfortable with their behavior. I couldn’t really put my finger on what it was, but I just felt a bit uncomfortable. I had voiced my opinions and made sure this person knew I was not happy with some of their actions. Yet, time and fucking time again, it would strike. So after I had enough and it was just causing this negative energy in my life, I finally decided to address this person. On facebook of course, cause that’s how you communicate everything these days.
I just wrote a message expressing a bit of my anger and feeling of disrespect, that I was uncomfortable. I knew maybe I was overreacting, but I couldn’t help but control my feelings. I was hoping to open an honest dialogue, I was prepared to say that maybe I had been a bit unreasonable.
I just know if I received a message like I wrote, I would feel a bit guilty. I would be mad of course thinking who the fuck is this person telling what and what not to do.
But at the same time I would feel humility knowing someone was so uncomfortable with me, they reached out. I would apologize, LIKE ANY FUCKING DECENT HUMAN BEING WOULD in such a situation. I would maybe say; ‘It was not my intention. I will take that into consideration next time.’ THAT would be the right and decent thing to do. You can all agree on that.
So when this person not only DOES NOT reply, instead continues to do what upsets me even more, now knowing how much it pisses me off. And I see their friends telling them, just ignore it. I can’t help but think. My God what is this world coming too? What the fuck is wrong with these people?? I even saw this person and gave them my death stare of ”Back the fuck off.” NOTHING. Instead goes off saying shit like “Don’t worry, be happy.” And all that crap, my God is that fucking childish. You really don’t understand humanity.
My message to the world today is. Come down from your fucking pride chair and be humble. For fuck sake, be a decent human being, and stop continuing purposely (Yet claiming innocence) do things like this to others.
This happened a few months back and I have just put this person on my ignore list of lame ignorant people.
But then I recently got a message from someone else, in completely different matter. Who said they were sometimes uncomfortable with me doing a certain thing. I was so horrified, cause I wasn’t aware I was causing such a feeling with someone. At first I was like “What the fuck is this person on about!!??” But then I quickly wrote back and explained myself, apologized for being insensitive and we both made sure we were on the same side. It felt good to be at peace and strengthen a new friendship. So it reminded me of myself being the person writing a similar message. You really can never tell with people and their intentions.
So yeah, I know we all are dicks, bitches, cunts..whatever at times. And some times on purpose. Sometimes we just don’t give a flat fuck. Let me tell you this, it’s not nice to get off on knowing you will piss someone off. Yet, I know how insanely fucking satisfactory that can feel. Pissing off someone you don’t like. But you are just asking for bad karma.