Post soundtrack: Always on my mind by Elvis Presley
I’m trying to put words to this sentiment I’m currently experimenting inside my body, this numb feeling. I think it’s the same feeling when a child goes though when they see something traumatic and they just stay paralyzed.
All I know is that everything has changed in my life in the course of 48 hours or so. I have cut off a part of me and I guess I am still in the state of shock that I just cut off my left arm. (figuratively)
I have always had compassion and forgiveness in y heart, but for the first time I think I won’t be able to ever forgive, speak or look someone in the face again. The level of disappointment can never be measured, coming from me this is unexpecting, because I have forgiven people for many things, for worst thing imaginable. I have no hate, in fact I have the exact opposite of hate which is the irony of it all.
I have to cut off my left arm or it will infect my whole body, it has done enough damage already. I tell you though, cutting off that arm has left me nothing but tears, but my last option I had to do.