Post Soundtrack: Survivor by Destiny’s Child
My weekend has been amazing. I’m not really sure how to identify this feeling I am currently experiencing, except I think it’s called . . Fun?
My friends say they haven’t’ seen me shine, dance and have so much fun in a very long time. I actually spread cheer! It just feels so odd, like a alien reaction, like fat Jesus on a bike.
I been following the homework Dr.Puzzle has given me and the change has actually been quite remarkable, of course I have to push and work myself, but at least I’m out of that sticky-jizz fucktopia I was stuck in. I been club hopping, been super social, like actually having conversations with people. I even get hit on again!! I even say goodbye now when I leave a party, now that’s a mind-blast right there. I go do lunches, brunches and dinners with what friends tell me to come along to, and get to experience wonderful food, meet great new people or at least get to know people I already knew much better and fancy parties. I’m dancing around town with my girls, establishing a strong group of solid girls around me as well as my boys, my human motorcade. My social circle is becoming tight knit and I’m starting to have a presence again.
I’m gonna be quite honest, I’m really weirded out by this whole carefreeness and swinging around like Julie Andrews on top of a mountain. Only I think I will end up stumbling down the mountain like Patsy from ab fab tumbling down somehow.
I guess it’s like how He-Man feels when he so easily can pick up things because he is so strong without effort. I feel I’m sort of there, everything is very effortless. The bad things in my life are washed away. The things that used be good are forever gone and have seized to exist, which I have to realize has nothing to do with me at all. I was not responsible for the things gone bad. My life is good in a new way now. I’m surrounded by friends, my dogs.. . well they are the only ones that kills me, they are deeply depressed. My lil girl waits and wait and grows sadder and more aggressive every day. I just have to find her a new dad soon. I’m just not there yet. It’s about me now. Return of me, the Tambourine Queen.