Express yourself, don’t repress yourself

Post Soundtrack: Human Nature by Madonna

I dreamt I was Snow-white last night.  The 7 dwarfs wanted me to protect a secret forest filled with diamonds.  I have also taken a vow of celibacy, so I guess I know which forest they were referring to.  Then I missed a plane while carrying a huge diamond in my pocket, but OK.

I fricking love dwarfs by the way, I love little people.  They are so tiny!!!

Why have I taken a vow of celibacy?  I really cannot be fucked, no pun intended, to be bothered by it.  It’s just hassle and just causes shit I cannot be bothered with at the moment.  All I hear everyday when I come into work are these stories from my male co-workers who live in the expat dream world of  the Asian beauty syndrome, I will go into great detail about this another day.

You see, us Asian women, we all crazy and women these days  especially the younger ones are fucking ruthless. I keep hearing these stories of how these women are behaving and it is honestly turning me off from calling myself a woman.  Just tasteless behaviour, maybe I am prude, maybe I’m classy. Hello San-Diego.

Also my guy friends have now turned into man sluts and are also just fucking around like robots.  When did women become so easy?  I know quality men are a rarity in this town so you do what you gotta do, but I swear it is coming to the point where it is going too far of what a girl will do to get one.

I guess also because the one I lost was seduced by all that exterior, and is playing that field and it seriously makes me ill.  I guess men will want to have their fun, but none of its real. But what do I know, I don’t have a ding dong.   When I go out in this city and see whats around me, none of it is real.  These women are creating such an illusion of themselves and it is pretty sad.  It is becoming a strong competition of getting a man, and when you have him, you can’t breathe because women will come after him, fucking hassle.

So I choose to remove myself from that whole equation for now.  I don’t need a lover or one night stands or be dating for the sake of feeling desired as much as that is what I want.  I don’t think I want anything or anyone in my life, I want distance.  If I want to feel desired I can just post a sexy picture of myself on instagram and tag #sexylady and the flattering comments will come in, problem solved.

I just don’t want to be a part of that.  Oh, I am going to have plenty of fun, I am just going to be classy about it.  You want me, you fucking got to court me.

Or maybe….this is just what i am telling myself to fool myself…who knows.

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