I cant help but ask myself how much I’ll let the fear take the wheel and steer. I’m beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel

Post Soundtrack: Drive by Incubus

Had an interesting session with Dr.Puzzle today, a much-needed one as well.  This Puzzle Dr. is really challenging me in the areas I need to be and it’s very refreshing.

For days have I been scratching my mind of what to do with this little domestic dilemma I’m going through with my fur babies.  Did you actually know there was a shrink for dogs as well? Fuck shizzle.

I’m dealing with a lot of guilt because of that and thankfully today I got some help in that area.  I’m really learning to step back when I feel something to not just instantly act upon the feeling, which is something I’ve done practically my whole life.  I’m training so many new muscles when it comes to control of emotions like fear, guilt, anger, sadness and make it to happiness.

Of course there are occasional slip ups.

Last night I was so frustrated that the whole world was out there celebrating love and I was dealing with a depressed comatosed dog, it’s easy to feel a bit sorry for yourself at moments at such.  I was so angry and had so much rage.  I slipped and let my emotions get the better of me.

I still feel it, but I’m learning to train my new emotional muscles, I think out of all the muscles in the human body. Re-shaping your emotional muscles must be the absolute hardest one, but fuck I’m determined.  I’ve seen so much change in me already, so much energy, strength and this absolute yearning for adventure in life.  Something I haven’t felt in a long time.  Suddenly I want to go out and do everything, start using my body actively again.   When me and the girls had a silly little girls club, my nickname was ChAdventurous because I was the most adventurous of all, really weird. But yes, I want to go out there and explore the world and have fun!

Still pondering what is best for my lil ones, but I’m figuring it out.  No time to panic.  Every hour I work on my re-shaping and strengthening my new muscles.

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