What I learned I rejected but I believe again..

Post Soundtrack: Forgiven by Alanis Morissette

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.

I read this quote today and it really hit close to home, it was one of those quotes where suddenly everything made sense.  OK, so it’s a quote by Oprah but we’ll see past that tiny information for now.

I have been known to live in my past before, I used to do that but I can gladly say I don’t anymore.  There was so much anger from my past.  There are so many things I truly wish I did different when it comes to work, education, money and relationships.  This which has caused me to be so hard on myself.

We need to learn to forgive our past, every single bit of it. There is nothing you can do now that will change what happened back then, but the actions you take today can change your future. I know first handedly that staying angry at the past will only consume you with negative energy, it will have a grip on you.  If a person has hurt you, you are giving this person control of your emotions.  You are only hurting yourself.

We are constantly learning, this I have learned.  I felt particularly tested for a long period.  I lived in ache and sorrow, but now I am asking myself, what was I being tested for? What strength of character did it develop in me? Patience? Courage? Forgiveness? Understanding? Resilience? What must I now develop?

I no longer believe in anger, though I do loose my temper and stand up for myself.  I let go, and I wish those who are angry with me happiness instead.  A concept that has taken me a good  soul searching and therapy to understand. Think of it like this.

A wise woman and her young disciple were walking down the street. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an angry man in a carriage drove haphazardly by the two, insensitively pushing the woman out of his way. She landed in a ditch filled with muddy water. The woman yelled after the man in the carriage, “May you have everything you want!” The disciple, surprised by the wise woman’s response, said: “I’m confused. Why did you say that to a man with such horrible behavior?” The woman replied, “Because a happy man wouldn’t have thoughtlessly pushed a woman into a ditch.”

I’m truly learning that people who are truly happy will not be afraid.  Has no worries.  So if someone can’t reason with me, I let them go.  In time when they are ready they will see clearly.

Every single human have insecurities.  I believe there are good and bad insecurities.  The ones that make you a bit afraid and stop you from showing the world how wonderful you truly are, and the ones where you destruct and bring the world down around you.  I have been both of those.  I don’t find insecurities attractive.  I find confidence attractive and a person who knows exactly what and who they stand for. Jealousy is a horrible insecurity, especially among women, it makes us act out in the most repulsive way.  I see it much here where I live, and it makes me sad.  So many girls feel they need to compensate their insecurities with sexiness, instead they loose themselves in a crown and just become a sea of dolls who all look the same.

Do what you feel is right, don’t ever let your insecurities or fear get in the way no matter what people tell you.  Listen to what you feel and do it!

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One Response to What I learned I rejected but I believe again..

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