Post soundtrack: You’re the storm – The Cardigans
An important lesson I’ve learned in the path to become superwoman. Is that you can’t control outcomes, but you sure as fucking hell can control how you act.
Now, re-read that last line again carefully, and make sure you understand.
You will, as I have done many, many fucking times. Mix two very different concepts up as being one of the same.
There is a huge difference between;
How you feel
How you act.
You need to find out by yourself, what areas in your life you want to combine those two.
This to me is a concept I find is of great priority in my life and the path of personal growth.
I have a sensitivity chip that goes off like popcorn’s poppin in the microwave. And I want to be aware of the distinction between what I feel at a certain moment versus what I feel is important to me. I want to be able to recognize and welcome distracting emotions, have them inside, nurture the bad emotions. Knowing they will go away. Not letting a insecurity or situation make me act out, but instead being aware that it’s there. Allowing it, not reacting to it and then move on with me.
For my reaction to be, not to act upon my emotion but being aware of it. That is how you control your actions.
I’ve become relatively good (I said, relatively, Note that please) at controlling my behavior (Mostly temper). I’ve learned to ignore some of the everyday insignificant things that comes in and out, without letting it get into to me and distract my mind.
Yet sometimes I just can’t control on how I want to act, I just blow out of epic fuckin proportions faster than I can retract.
I want to be the best version of me possible, to make sure I’ve explored what it is to truly BE. I am already this person, you are also already that person.
But you will never stop learning in life, NEVER. Learn to recognize when the sides of yourself come out that doesn’t make you feel good and creates a toxic environment inside your body. Accept that you behaved and thought a certain way. But the only way to change any of that, begins with you taking responsibility for your own actions. So learn to be humble and admit you have been wrong. We are all forever evolving and shaped by our surroundings as time passes by.
The minute you think you know it all and have it figured out, trust me will life throw you a fucking curve-balll. So it’s important to remember that when new situations arise, you take a step back and think. . .
Now how does the person I want to be, handle this?
You will sometimes feel emotions you want to act upon instantly, without thinking about repercussions. Then BOOM, a bucket full of semen clusterfuck.
I have always said we should not walk around holding things inside, instead just say what you mean. Which might make us the bad person at times. That’s OK, as long as it is a part of your moral code and the person you want to be.
Say what you truly feel when you know your own moral standpoint. Say what you feel if it makes you come closer to the best you.
If you are feeling a certain way, because it comes from a place of fear and insecurities. YOU, have the power to choose how to behave. All of that will be in your control. This is when you are tested. I admit there are several situations, where you let a situation get the best of you before you have actually had time to asses it.
People who like myself act upon impulse, will often find themselves reacting emotionally, momentarily. I really don’t like to behave like this. I don’t like it when the weak sides of myself appear and my emotions clouds the moral compass of who I am. Because I know I can be better. And you can bet your arse on that I really do work everyday to separate an emotion coming in the way of me.
So when I have reacted emotionally, my test as a person is how I choose to proceed with my actions. People who wish to see you succeed will see how you are working and trying. While some might stay in the clouds and remain fogged by your emotional outbursts. Which is a shame, because they won’t see the real you.
I like to think of it like this.
I am the sun.
I shine bright, I’m hot and make all things wonderful. I make things come alive. Emotions and obstacles come in forms of wind and clouds. And sometimes those clouds will create a thunderous storm or rain like a mother bitch. This will happen to you throughout your life. Obstacles will come and go. BUT you are not in fact not your emotions. They are just a feelings. They are not constant. The sun is constant, YOU are constant.
So try next time a storm is coming. Allow the clouds to come in, but learn recognize and separate the sun from the clouds.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, there is so much character in how you redeem yourself after a storm. This is how you ACT is in your control and you can become super-you.
Retribution is a beautiful thing. Make sure that when that storm passes, you make up for it. That you shine and show who you are. What the sun is capable of. That you can make the earth move, beautiful things grow and create a beautiful world because of you, the sun.
Some days are harder because of winds. But never let that discourage you or take over the sun.
Because it can’t.
End credit soundtrack
Don’t let the sun go down on me
Although i search myself, it’s always someone else i see George Michael and Elton John